In my last blog post, you read about my first time trying marijuana edibles, and how a quarter of a chocolate chip pot cookie made me really relaxed, and hyper-focused on tiny details from my environment.
In this post, I’ll tell you what happened the week after, when I graduated to eating half a pot cookie, and the story of deep regret in the aftermath.
It started out innocently enough. I had never seen the movie UP! and was settling in for a cozy night with the hubs. While he was queuing up the movie, I munched on half a pot cookie (the Indica variety), then I joined him on the couch. It was about twenty minutes to half an hour before it kicked in (I’m pretty sensitive), and I began to feel a deeper sense of relaxation than I started out with. (Note, I was already in a good mood before eating the cookie.) During sad or funny parts of the movie, my emotions seemed more intense than usual. I laughed hard at the funny parts (maybe too hard) and cried a pathetic, maudlin river at the sad parts. I was having a warm, cozy time with my hubs while enjoying a movie that gave me the feels. It was a great night…until…
Until I tried to get up from the couch.
Haha, nice try, G.G!
When I moved, I become horrifically dizzy, and pukingly nauseous. I felt so sick that I seriously considered being taken to the hospital. My temp seemed to rise, like I was becoming feverish. I desperately needed to get to bed, stat. Somehow I got up the stairs, brushed my teeth, put on my jammies and made it to bed without heaving the contents of my stomach. The key was to not move my head so much. When I finally lay down, if I moved my head to the right or left ever so slightly, the world would spin, and I had to fight back the barfs. I closed my eyes, forced myself to lie still and breathe, and prayed for sleep. While I was begging the Sandman to come, I noticed that my body felt really strange. This is hard to explain, but bear with me. I had a tingling sensation all over, and I felt as though my arms and legs were not mine, but that they were somehow an extension of the person lying next to me, my husband. Like an extra-sensory, out-of-body Phantom Limb Syndrome. It was unnerving and I couldn’t get to sleep fast enough.
The next day, I got up and noticed I felt pretty weird, like a slow, drunk feeling, but maybe a little less clumsy than an actual drunk person. There was a heavy feeling over my forehead, like a dullness over my eyes. I also had some nausea. Off and on the rest of the day, I felt like I had the worst hangover of my life.
It actually took a few days to start feeling normal again. The early part of my week was compromised by the lingering headache and intermittent nausea. By Tuesday of that week, the dull feeling over my eyes was finally gone. What started out as a fun, chill Saturday night turned out be a multi-day experience of awfulness. Knowing that, it will take an all-out miracle to convince me to eat another pot cookie ever again.
Which leads us all to another question: now that I know eating cannabis is tricky and potentially awful if you have too much, will I try smoking one more time to see if I can get it to work? I have no idea. Friends have told me that inhaling is way better, that you have a more satisfying outcome, but admittedly, I think I might be done trying. I’ve heard this is how aversion therapy works. Get someone sick off of a substance, they NEVER want to to touch it again.
I know, I know—you’re disappointed that my cannabis adventure has come to an end. Hopefully my short-lived experiment has at least kept you entertained, even if the fun was at my own expense. But I did gain insight into Book 2, which was absolutely useful. The cool thing about being a writer is you get to do fun (okay, maybe not so fun), unusual things in the name of research. Method acting, if you will. But if I ever write a book about serial killers, I’ll have to draw the line at taking up murder as a hobby. NOPE, NOT GOING THERE.
Stay tuned because Book 2, STONERS VS MOANERS, is coming very soon! I’ll be announcing a release date in the next few weeks. The folks on my mailing list will get first dibs. SIGN UP FOR MY LIST.
DO IT. DO IT NOW!